On the weekend, I had the great fortune to listen to a very inspiring presentation by Dr. Ben Carson. Dr. Carson is a leading pediatric neurosurgeon at the John Hopkins Hospital. In his career he has been a pioneer in performing highly risky surgery on children. He has a great book: "Take the Risk - Learning to Identify, Choose and Live with Acceptable Risk".

Dr. Carson explained how he has often been faced with addressing the viability of taking a major risk in his work. What is there to gain? Will it be worthwhile? What if I fail?

The stage is now set. The family have committed to a meeting. Further, the initial homework has been done with everyone completing their Financial DNA® Profiles, Family Quality Life Review and other pre-meeting exercises.

Remember, there are a lot of settings for a family meeting. Further, there are a lot of times when key questions can be asked. Questions can be asked during meetings with professional advisors, whilst on vacation, over dinner at the family home or in more formal settings such as during a family retreat.

The issue is now what questions will be asked at the family meeting?

What has been the impact of money on your family? This is a big question and one often addressed in a family meeting. Also, it is often asked by your financial advisor in the financial planning discussion.

In many ways these impacts will shape who the family is, determine the family relationships, define the family legacy and how the family is remembered by others.

Recently, I have had a great experience in reading a book called “The Energy of Money” by Maria Nemeth. I would thoroughly recommend this book to any person who is interested in better understanding their relationship to money. After all, this is what I have been advocating very strongly in my past few blogs. To become financially educated and realize your potential, you need to understand who you are and why you make the life and financial decisions that you do.

My last couple of podcasts have really hit on the issue of financial education to develop greater financial capability for the consumer. The need is now "red hot" with the financial markets in turbulence and many people very concerned about how they will unwind. Are we at the lows yet? It would not seem likely. So, there is potential for a lot more concern and emotion yet.

Financial DNA was originally built based on our passion to see the consumer receive education to become more financially empowered and in our view this starts with greater self-understanding. Consumer financial education does not start with understanding the technical aspects of alpha and beta and what a stock or bond is, or hedge funds.

So, we believe that financial advisors must play a greater role in consumer financial education starting with client behavior.

Core to my passion is seeing people take more personal responsibility for their financial decisions. In the end this is actually key to your financial success, and overall quality life. To take more personal responsibility means increasing your financial capability. I believe there is an obligation on yourself to get the right financial education and also on your financial advisors to help you by providing it and guiding you. In the end, you need to be able to make more informed choices about the products and solutions you are buying, and not just rely on others to decide for you.

A common derailer that I have seen in many families is a lack of transparency. There is key information which is not being disclosed to other family members and, in some cases, to key people in a family business. Usually, this is caused by the holder of the information not trusting the other family members in some way.

Do you want greater family unity, and hence greater family harmony, wealth and ultimately a quality life? If yes, the key then is to start planning a family meeting and hopefully make it an annual event. Remember, every family has some level of dysfunction so you need to realize that but not let it deter you from having a meeting.

One of the questions I am often asked is does birth order influence your behavioral style?

Well, based on the research we have performed, birth order does not influence your natural behavior.

Recent research into the human mind has found that the secret to success in any long-term endeavor, whether it be in business, relationships or investing, is an attribute called ‘Emotional Intelligence’ (otherwise known as ‘EQ’). EQ is a type of intelligence that’s significantly different to the standard IQ-based definition of ‘smart’ we’re all used to.

The topic of ‘EQ’ has received significant coverage in the business world in the last few years, fueled in particular by Daniel Goleman’s books which are aimed at helping business people use the skill to further their careers and effectiveness.

Life purpose discovery is difficult and in many ways a journey in its own right. However, the process of discovery does become easier if a process is followed and you have a way of thinking about it.

I recently read a great book on life purpose, and by chance today found out that Oprah is currently doing a series on it. The book is "A New Earth - Awakening to Your Life's Purpose" by Eckhart Tolle.

The topic of money is missing from the coaching agenda full-stop. Why? Talking about money can be a very emotionally charged issue for both the leader and the consultant/coach. Many people are, when it gets down to it, mystified by money and the power of its impact.

Last night I was called by a family friend (for the sake of the innocent Amy) who was being pushed by an advisor to make a major decision in regard to transferring her retirement savings account. Why was Amy asking me the question...?

Many financial decisions are a reflection of your life and behavior. Key to finding balance is helping the client objectively understand their inherent strengths and struggles based on who they uniquely are, and then their preferences. So, the balance will be different depending on our different behavioral styles.

Think about what might happen if you help somebody else grow in their lives. They will remember the moment, become more empowered and ultimately want to help many others. They will do it subconsciously any way because of their own growth, but even better if it is intentionally done.

In essence, by helping others grow and build their lives you will be part of a movement which will have amazing and never ending impact.

My approach in working with client's has been to fairly early on in the conversation ask them: What are you passionate about? I have found this to be a very powerful question in finding out where their life is at and where they want to go. This is so important if you are helping someone set their goals and direction. I do not really believe you can do financial planning for a person without knowing their passion because it is so fundamental to their life. Having clarity of your passions regardless of what they are means you can make decisions with confidence and commitment.

What sets a truly great individual apart from others is often found in their ongoing commitment to growth and personal development. An important step for business leaders, financial advisors or any person seeking to get to the next level in their life and career is being prepared to be coached or mentored. By experiencing coaching or mentoring you will also become better equipped to guide others to success and building a quality life.

Think about what might happen if you help somebody else grow in their lives. They will remember the moment, become more empowered and ultimately want to help many others. They will do it subconsciously any way because of their own growth, but even better if it is intentionally done.

In essence, by helping others grow and build their lives you will be part of a movement which will have amazing and never ending impact.

During a recent Wealth Mentor Training with a group of financial advisors we were discussing our definitions of a “Quality Life”. A number of advisors made a very key observation: Is there such a concept as a balanced life? Can a person really have balance? This discussion really hit a chord with me as this point really gets to the core of what the Financial DNA program is all about.

Recently I asked the following question to a group of entrepreneurial businessmen that I was facilitating: “Who is in the way of your success?”

I was amazed to hear the answer: “ME”. Yes, that is correct. All of them acknowledged that they are the person in the way of their own success. This was equally true in running their business or their own life and relationships. I was very happy to hear this answer because it is the truth. So often we have trouble seeing through our own ego and blind spots to acknowledge that it is us who is in the way. There are other factors too of secondary importance such as lack of capital, finding the right people, market forces etc

What does money mean to you? What role does money play in your life? What are your motivations for earning money? How do you measure your worth? What do you spend money on?
These are big questions that have to be considered whether you are an advisor or an investor. The truth is that answering them says a lot about who you are, the life you are living, the life you want to live and your financial goals.
Money is the vehicle that enables your life to happen. But while money itself does not have a personality, you do. Your relationship with money will be no different regardless of how much you have. It is inherently part of your Financial DNA Code!!

Very recently, a business owner client of our firm in his early 40's who is energetically expanding his business said: I really feel like I am in retirement. I can do what I want, when I want and with whom I want." Are we seeing a new perspective on retirement?
What does retirement mean to you? Does retiring necessarily mean you stop working? When are you really going to retire? Why do you go to work? Do you have fears about retirement?

I have had some really interesting conversations with advisors during the past few weeks during presentations. In particular, when I have been talking about family dynamics and asking the question who is your advice really impacting?

Generally, the obvious answer would be that your client is the person who currently has the wealth for which financial planning is required (the “Wealth Holder”). What about the beneficiaries of the wealth? Their lives are generally being impacted by the decisions that get made in the financial and estate plans. To some degree aren’t these beneficiaries also your client? In providing advice, you need to understand the unique behavioral styles of BOTH the Wealth Holder and the beneficiaries. If you do not take into account the unique financial personality of the beneficiaries then the plan could be useless once the wealth does transfer to them. Isn’t this at least partly why we see so many financial and estate plans practically fall apart, breakdowns in family relationships, and generally dysfunctional behavior?

In a discussion with a group of entrepreneurs, I asked them the question: What Makes People Successful?

I enjoy asking questions like this. I always learn something from others perspectives and insights. It gets me to think at new levels. As you may expect dealing with a diverse group everyone's responses were great and quite different. I personally think the keys to success are the sum of what everyone said. There are probably more, or in some ways the same points expressed a different way.

Where is your focus? What message are you conveying?

Whatever you are doing in your life or business, perhaps consider the message which is behind the following google research that I have recently done with one of our Certified Wealth Mentors George Vieth whilst "word-smithing" how we define our own values and brand messaging. This may help you re-define your own messaging in terms of focus, simplicity and connecting to what people are looking for.

For us, it very much clarified the Financial DNA brand promise is that "we guide and give you the education to help balance your life and money". This is very consistent with our "Understanding People before Numbers Philosophy".

How confident are you in the business, financial and life decisions you are making? Do you have times of doubt? Have you ever created thoughts in your mind that are not reality, or what can be called gremlins? These questions are equally valid whether you are an investor, executive or advisor.

When you have confidence almost anything can be achieved, adversity can be handled, your mind opens up to new possibilities, you get unstuck, relationships can get built, people are attracted to you. Personal confidence is an energy force that sustains you. With plenty of confidence, there can be never ending growth in ALL areas of your life.

What really drives you in your life? What types of activities motivate you? When are you the most productive? Where do you believe you could have never-ending improvement?

These are questions we often guide people in finding the answers to. You may well ask what has this got to do with wealth creation. Well, if you believe the greatest source of wealth creation is the productive use of your human capital then it is significant. Discovering your Unique Gift is a foundational component of your Life Purpose which is vital to determining your goals and ultimately the purpose of money in your life.

Do you know what your likeability factor is? What do others say about you? What do you say about yourself?

I recently read a book called "The Likeability Factor" by Tim Sanders. The message of the book was to focus and continually reinforce all of those aspects about you that are likeable and further, to encourage you to be doing more of what is likeable about you. The other side of the message is not to continuously look at the negatives.

Just as eye glasses or contact lenses improve the clarity of what you are seeing, the Financial DNA Discovery Process has been designed to clarify what you are doing with your life and how your financial decisions are aligned with your life.

Seeing what you want is the first step – finding your passion. But it is vision that takes that discovery from a want to a plan. Vision is what allows you to flesh out a two-dimensional life of commitments to a three-dimensional life of vitality. Having a clear vision can deliver your life purpose by bringing your passions from the realm of your dreams to the realm of your waking life.

The vision will determine the shape of your life, although people with very similar passions can end up with very different visions.

Do you have the right clients? This is a very topical issue for many financial planners, particularly those who have already built a business to a reasonable level. Actually, it is as important as the client selecting the right advisor.

In the end there must be a mutual relationship with the parties comfortable with each other. The relationship cannot start out (but it often does) with the client simply having dollars in the bank account and some financial planning needs, and on the other side the client believing the advisor has the skills and the necessary integrity. In fact, these are all assumed to get to the point of the first meeting. Bob Veres of Inside Information (www.bobveres.com) has written a great article this month called "Segmentation or Bust" mainly directed at advisors to consider the structure of their client base.

This topic came from a discussion I was having this morning with some of our wealth mentors. So, you may well ask the question: What on earth has mastering your personal energy got to do with building wealth? Let me tell you it is totally connected if you believe in an "inside-out" approach to building a quality life and creating wealth, whether that be measured on financial or non-financial factors. There is no doubt I am seeing this more and more for myself every day and also a fast growing number of others are experiencing it too.

Your personal energy can be described in many ways and is sourced from many things. Let's try describing it as your level of personal confidence, the positive way you feel, the balance of your emotions, your mood, contentment with your inner self, the warmth of your heart, comfort in dealing with others, the ability to show gratitude, and there is much more. Perhaps, your personal energy is at its highest when you are living in alignment with yourself and totally believe in who you are.

An activity I enjoy doing every month is moderating a discussion amongst a group of high powered, highly successful and highly interesting entrepreneurs with very different businesses and from different backgrounds. When you are amongst them for a few hours every month the ideas and perspectives that come out can be mind blowing. For me also, in a subtle sort of way, it is an opportunity to play the role of educator. Of course that connects to my passion and purpose in life.

At the start of the last meeting, as usual I asked this group an "Ice Breaker" Question: How has initiating a difficult conversation resulted in a benefit for you?

Financial decisions are seldom made in a vacuum. Your decisions impact the lives of those around you, especially the members of your family. And just as you should make decisions in alignment with your life and financial personality, if you are in a family (as most of us are), you will be helped by working toward alignment with family members as well.

A family unit can only be truly wealthy and lead a life of unity and prosperity with trust. The foundation for trust is developing great family relationships. The starting point is for all family members to be liberated in the knowledge of who they are and what they are supposed to do.

When you look at the different behavioral styles in the family you can see that some family members will inherently have lower levels of natural trust. If they are unaware of this there is a chance their behavior will breed distrust throughout the whole family, which is the seed of disaster.

We all know that successful long-term advisor client relationships are built on trust. The question is ... are we as advisors trustworthy?.

There are many levels and dimensions of trust and it can be examined and discussed in many ways. Trust is not just about character, it can simply be about how we act or come across to another person. In the same setting with the same actions, one person may trust you and another may not. So to develop trust with different people you will need to adapt your behavior to meet them on their terms.

In our work of mentoring people based on behavioral styles we teach that for a client (or any person for that matter) to trust you, then the FIRST STEP is for you to trust yourself.

Many people say that they are a good listener. If you are, is it natural or learned? What are your conversations like?

The reality is that many of us are not naturally good listeners. In fact, for many of us we were not born to listen rather to set the agenda. Associated with this trait is the natural tendency to assume or hear what we want, to reach our goals. This will be even more true for a dominant person where such behaviors are very hard-wired in. Please do not take this as a judgement as it is you. You will no doubt have many strengths and this is just a consequential struggle, which can be managed with some recognition and heightened consciousness.

Have you ever been asked a question and then said "aha"? I now get it. Wow, that question has really crystallized some thoughts for me. If you are an advisor, can you recall asking your client that powerful question which gave them an "aha" experience?

Just imagine how liberating that would be if you asked such a potentially life changing question of someone you are interacting with. By asking the question, the trust in you really accelerates and interestingly for the person also, trust in themselves. Their decision-making confidence really increases. This is priceless in any way you want to measure it.

I have to admit some of my close friends, mentors and business associates have asked me these types of questions. Frankly, such "aha" triggering questions are a major reason for why I am doing what I do today.

I am often asked by advisors "Do I really need to do a profile? I already know my clients". Then some clients (i.e. investors) may say "but I already know myself" or "over time I have seen these behaviors come out".

However, whether you are an advisor or client, this begs the questions ... "How conscious are you of the people you have relationships with? Are you really noticing when there is connection or when expectations are not being met?"

I often ask advisors, "Are you sleep walking through the advisory process?", meaning you may know your process well, you have all the steps and procedures and you have learned to follow your intuition with clients. However, are you really picking up all there is to know about the client?

I was having a discussion with an executive coach about how you remain comfortable when having a potentially difficult conversation. There are a lot of theories about this and to some degree everyone will do it differently.

One of the interesting thoughts that arose was that the course of a conversation can go in many directions and you will not necessarily know how it will turn out. All possibilities can exist at one moment. You need to remember you are not the only party to that conversation. What the other person says or how they react or their tone of voice can totally change the outcome. Their reaction may ultimately trigger you to move in another direction. This has been true for me in a number of difficult conversations that I have had.

Wherever I have gone this year more and more advisors and people at large are talking about living a "life on purpose". Advisors are saying to me, we are having deeper conversations with clients about purpose. These conversations are becoming the core of how they help clients find fulfilment and make more discerning decisions. There is also a ground swell of people in all walks of life wanting to have a life with more meaning and they are starting to engage in discussions about their purpose.

To me this is very exciting. I believe people can truly develop and build a quality life once they get close to their purpose and have the courage to start living it.

Are you one of the majority of people who finds it hard to make changes to your life? Do you actually want to make changes in your life? Do you know how to make changes in your life? Do you know where to start?

In my work as a Wealth Mentor, (which involves a blend of being coach, trainer and advisor) helping people make changes to the way they work and live is a big part of what I do. To be honest, I have had to make many big changes personally to be doing what I am doing today. Becoming aware of a deep passion to educate others to become more empowered to make better financial decisions has been a catalyst for me making many changes in my life. Clearly there have been other changes that I have made at times, such as losing weight or getting fitter, that have not always been directly tied to a passion. But even then, those changes were made in the broader scheme of improving my overall life and enabling me to better live my passions.

I believe discovering your passion is an important first step because it is foundational to your life purpose and hence helps you define a goal that is worth fighting for.

One of the financial advisors in a group asked me whether everyone would go through Financial DNA. The answer is potentially yes. We have had people with very little wealth and some with over $1billion go through the process, and all of them have been greatly liberated by the personal knowledge they have gained.

This triggered the response from one of them, "Well if I was super wealthy I wouldn't bother, I would be out of here. I would have my financial freedom". Such a comment raises many questions and issues which cannot all be addressed right now. But my response was: "Well do you really have financial freedom with super wealth?". Many wealthy people are in actual fact prisoners of their wealth. It brings a whole new set of financial complications, let alone the personal issues. I mentioned that it is not always a life on easy street with these people. So perhaps financial freedom at this level is not really the dream?

So, what does money mean to you? There has been a lot written on this topic from many different angles. My sense is that this is a topic of thought that has always been there for many people but not necessarily at a very conscious level. For some, they may even find it very confronting and others may query its importance. Others are more interested in how much they can have and not so focused on what it means. Today, in our wealth mentoring work we are providing guidance for many people to find the answer to this question.

The question is important because it goes to the core of who you are and what your life goals are, and consequently your financial goals. I do not believe you can make committed decisions and ultimately build a quality life until you know the answer to this question and are comfortable with that answer. The journey of discovery will be life shaping and fun. The great thing is that the answer is different for all of us and so whatever money does mean to you, it will become foundational for your life.

An area that we are regularly asked about is hiring the right people. This is an issue that is very relevant to many of the financial advisors who use Financial DNA, as well as some of our corporate, family and entrepreneurial clients. Even some students, who we provide development programs for, ask about the hiring process to help them better present their strengths to a prospective employer and to learn what questions they should be asking.

In our role working as a resource partner to many businesses and also closer to home in running our own business, I have come to learn the multiple dimensions of hiring. It definitely takes strategy, focus and knowledge of people.

Many people have commented to me recently that one of the powerful messages I deliver, is the reality that every financial decision is driven by a life issue and every life decision has a financial consequence. In essence, life and financial decisions are totally integrated.

Therefore, when doing financial planning it is absolutely vital that you understand what drives your financial decisions. To me, the primary driver is your financial personality, or what we call your Financial DNA. Your financial personality is in essence your natural born behavior shaped by your environment, experiences and education. Or we can break it down into behaviors, passions, values, beliefs, purpose and knowledge. All of these factors make up who you are and in their own way fundamentally drive your life decisions and consequently your financial decisions.

Did you know that icebergs connect below the surface? Well people do as well. This is where truly lasting relationships are formed. So how do you get below the surface and connect with others? I am not just meaning a one sided conversation where you find out the other persons dreams and aspirations. How do you share some of who you are with them?

What I am talking about is creating a safe environment for a Wealth Mentoring Conversation, which is by its very nature mutual. Why would a prospect or client, or for that matter any one else, start totally sharing who they are with you, if you do not reciprocate? I appreciate this is not the normal approach in a traditional advisory relationship, which by its very nature is somewhat one-sided. However, in a wealth mentoring relationship where you are building a long term relationship with the client to be their trusted guide, it is absolutely foundational. This is a key differential in building trust along with listening.

There is no doubt devising an appropriate planned giving strategy has become a very big focus in the United States and other countries where the level of wealth is growing.

Advisors are being asked what do we do? People are questioning their legacy and how much is enough? Some are suspicious of the process and others say, well I don't need the money nor do my children. Further, planned giving officers at not for profit organizations are looking for ways to better communicate with their donors, discover their values and make them feel appreciated.

None of these are easy questions, and addressing this could take a whole book in its own right.

At the start of a radio interview, I was asked a fundamental question: What is the relevance of behavior to your wealth creation?

In my view, your behavioral style is foundational to your wealth creation. When I use the term "wealth creation" I do not just mean money or financial wealth, it also includes your whole of life wealth.

I adopt the approach that the correct place to start building true wealth in your life is from the inside. In essence, I have an "inside-out" approach to wealth creation.

What do you do when you have multiple passions?

This is a great position to be in, particularly as many people do not lay claim to having one passion. If you do have multiple passions then in my view you are very wealthy in terms of having a quality life. Some may be surprised to know that Financial DNA is not my only passion. I add in the development of youths as another, then watching cricket (sorry not baseball!!) and other sporting activities, and wine tasting.

The key is to work out how all of your passions can get squeezed into your busy life.....

Have you ever wondered why your financial attitudes are different from those of your siblings? Why is this the case when you have been brought up in the same home with the same money messages, you have gone to the same schools, and mixed in the same circles?

Addressing these questions is VERY important for parents who are making financial decisions that will impact their children (for instance, business succession or estate planning). It is also important for the parents and siblings themselves to understand how these differences may potentially have a significant impact on the family relationships. Finally, the advisors need to have this insight as well so that they can facilitate the family with greater understanding.

In my last topic on engaging the client, I concluded with the comment that facilitating the Financial DNA profiles with your clients is easier than you may perceive, and does not have to take you away from being an advisor to a counsellor. There is no doubt this is a concern for some advisors particularly for those who have been more focused on the investment side of the business.

In my training sessions, I often use the golf analogy, if you already have a good golf swing meaning you are a good client facilitator, then Financial DNA is putting a much better golf club in your hands. So we are not here to change your swing, just make the ball contact better and straighter, meaning have a more powerful conversation. I wish to be clear that the goal is not to convert advisors to being counsellors or defacto psychologists. Rather, our goal is to take a lot of the guesswork and assumptions about client behavior out of the client discovery process.

Interestingly, the most common question that we have been asked by financial advisors is: How do I get my clients to take the profiles? Will they do the profiles?

I have been in the shoes of the advisor introducing the Financial DNA Profiles and fully appreciate the questions. Being honest, when I started down the track of introducing the Financial DNA profiles to my clients in 2001 and, before then asking more probing life orientated discovery questions, I did not necessarily expect such a process would be for everyone. Particularly in Australia where there is less personal openness than in the United States. There is no doubt that I was expecting resistance.....

Communication is a significant theme in Financial DNA and one that I am often asked to talk about. Certainly, it is a foundational starting point in all of our work with advisors and clients.

How advisors and clients communicate is not only important to the quality of the relationship but also to the quality of the financial decisions that get made. What happens when the communication is poor is that people start making decisions around each other because the trust has been diminished. Also, poor decisions get made because the information has not been heard as intended. The same is true when couples, families, business partners and teams communicate.

The average fully employed person spends over 1,800 hours each year at work, more than one-third of his/her life. Therefore, people tend to spend as much time, if not more, with their co-workers as they do with their families. Essentially the workplace has become more than a home away from home. It has become home – and not always a happy one!

In most cases, a business runs on results, which if not achieved will ultimately cause the business to fail and force everyone to look for other work. So it is natural for many people to become obsessively results-oriented in their working lives. The problem with an exclusively results-focussed approach is it ignores the importance of relationships and communication, which are ironically significant contributors to achieving results.

Hiring the right people is a critical facet of building any business. There is plenty of independent research to show the cost of getting it wrong can be substantial, in many cases multiples of the person's salary.

But who hasn't made a mistake at some point? After all you are making a decision about people and there are multiple dimensions to the hiring process, so to be successful at it requires strategy, focus and knowledge of people.